Weary

I have a confession: I almost didn’t write this blog post.

I’m weary. 

By definition, weary means “physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.” Boy, do I feel that down to my bones!

I’m weary not from any one particular thing, but rather a combination of things. Many of them are in fact good things, but when all the responsibility is piled together, those good things suddenly seem significantly less good.

The bigger responsibilities include my workload as a graphic designer, which has been particularly busy these last few months. That workload also includes building this new project you’re seeing and reading here, Thy Word In My Heart. I’m also the primary homeschool teacher for our kiddos, the oldest of which just finished kindergarten. It’s been an eventful year of trial and error to build an effective school routine.

Then there’s the everyday responsibilities of cooking and cleaning, endless piles of laundry, managing my Type 1 diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis, raising two young and energetic boys, caring for an aging dog, tending our small garden (the “extended experiment” that started with the plants/seeds unit in our kindergartener’s science lessons), running the errands, shuttling to appointments, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera… Somewhere in the midst of all this I’m still trying to date my husband, keep up with our parents, and be a good friend to the few that I have.

Then there’s the interruptions. So, so, so many interruptions. In fact, while writing this blog post, our oldest son asked very sweetly and politely if I would build a marble run for him with the magnet tiles. Of course I was happy to do it. It turned out pretty spectacular, if I say so myself. Even so, another interruption while I’m trying to complete a task. 

I’m weary. Joyful in all things, but weary. 

But God, through His disciple Paul, tells us to “not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

I don’t know about you, but there have been many days where I felt like fainting. Like fainting would be a welcome relief from all the doing. I just wanted to get off the merry-go-round, just for a bit, to catch my breath.

But where exactly would fainting, or giving up, get me? I pondered that option, and decided that any action — including inaction — not pleasing to my Lord wasn’t anything I wanted to do. So I continue doing. After all, He called me to be a wife, mom, homeschool teacher, graphic designer, business owner… these are the works He’s given me to do. Frankly, I’m delighted to do these things! Each and every one of them brings me joy.

To combat the weariness, however, I must spend time with Him daily — something I, to my shame, often put on the proverbial back burner. (It’s hard to find quiet time when one child is an early bird and the other child a night owl.) I must remember to keep the Sabbath, and to intentionally rest. I must spend time at His feet, looking to Him for truth and guidance, not to the wayward world around me.

Additionally, I must rely on Him completely for my sustenance and strength. Trusting in my own abilities to time manage, prioritize well, and be self-disciplined fails me every time. Though I should still do my best in these areas, and treat every task as though I’m working for the Lord (because I am; see Colossians 3:23), ultimately my strength and sustenance come from Him, not from within.

So, what exactly do we reap for all this well-doing? Let’s back up a verse, to Galatians 6:8, which says, “For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” If we diligently seek God and listen to what His Spirit tells us we ought to do, and then do those things, the reward will be life everlasting.

We’re not running this marathon called life to hear our friends, family, or anyone else praise us. We’re not living our life for achievement, earthly honor, or wealth. We’re running this race in such a way so that when we finally meet our Savior face to face, we will hear Him say, “well done, good and faithful servant. 

Let’s not grow weary in doing the good things He has given us to do.

 

Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. — Galatians 6:9